First we have to release our conditioning on how we should deal with pain. Meaning we are afraid to give in to pain on the level that are natural body suggests to us. We need to be able to allow this natural state of feeling our emotions. We need to be able to cry. We need to be able to go into the deep emotions and have dignity to cry. We sometimes have the same reaction to acute pleasure. But we do it more so with pain and suffering because society has shamed people for feeling such emotions. Other people don’t want to deal with your emotions. This is a sad part of humanity. We need healers and people that can hold space for all aspects of emotions. And when we are able to feel free to express our emotions only then are we able to transcend and integrate the lessons that come with pain and suffering. When we are born we are soft and tender. When we die we are rigid and hard. Therefore being soft and tender are the companions of life. So there is strength in weakness. If you got in a car accident and tightened all your muscles it is said that you were most likely to get more hurt than if you were just limber. Water is soft. Water also represents emotions. So by softening and not being so rigid we allow emotions to run their natural course. Be water my friend. Bruce Lee knew this. But the beautiful thing about water is even though it is so soft it has the power to shape rocks. So think of pain and suffering as rocks. By softening and allowing we are able to reshape painful emotions. In Hawaii they build houses on stilts. So they seem strong and rigid but when an earthquake happens the house is able to bend and sway. If the house was rigid and hard it would crack and fall apart. This is the same for humans. By going with in and sitting with the emotion we are taking the soft and subtle approach. But when we think we could just be rigid and push through the emotion we create shadows inside of us. An unconscious part of our self that is hiding in the subconscious. So to bring the emotion into consciousness and humble yourself is to better know yourself. By humbling and softening our self what we are doing is known as the little death or La Petite in french. Which means death of ego. For our shadows are aspects of our ego. So by making our shadows known to ourselves we are bringing shadow into light. And what happens to shadow when you bring it into light? It disappears. But what it really does is become one, united, balanced within us.
Can you think about all of the difficult emotions you’ve had to deal with in your life. If you thought about all of the difficult emotions you will still have to deal with in life, it becomes overwhelming. So there is wisdom and being present with just the current emotion and not overwhelming yourself with what was or what will be. If you could just fully give you attention to just one emotion at a time we become present in that moment. And only them will see the story, the wound and the gift that that emotion or shadow carries. So do not think about the healing journey as having an end or beginning. That will only create more suffering. But be fully present with what you were feeling at any given point throughout your day. When you are happy you’re not thinking about when will be the next time you will find this much happiness. You were simply in the present moment laughing. We could do the same thing with pain and suffering. So the only way to get out of pain is to go within. You know you’ve reached the point of releasing the pain when you can tell your story without an emotion attached to it.
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