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Resolving shame and loneliness

Writer: Blake CahillBlake Cahill

Updated: Mar 30, 2020

Recognizing we are a social species. Yet we are living in a society that teaches us to be independent. We have become so independently obsessed that we have isolated ourselves as a species. We are no different then a pack animal. Our Sutter vival depends on our Connection within our community. We need to stop isolating ourselves and become a social species again. Connection is the single most important thing. (Example)If somebody is in the spare they will have problems eating drinking or completing small life tasks. By connecting with this person we could help them and even give them motivation to complete these tasks. Even just asking a friend out to eat who is having a difficult time could put food in their stomach. Another example on how much connection is important. If a baby is left alone it will die. We need connection.


So we need to understand what shame is. Shame is when you push yourself away from who you truly are in order to fit in. Or talk down about yourself. when you do this you make an agreement with your lower self that you are not worthy of that kind of connection. But in reality you do not have to change who you are in order to fit in. You do not have to feel ashamed to be true to yourself. And in fact people will actually look up for you for being strong in your own values and morals.


Loneliness is also pushing away. the separation that you feel is loneliness. We feel that no one would understand us.We will feel that people will see us as being negative, sad or Dramatic. We have all heard these words before. What we truly need to heal loneliness is integration……. Integration is the act or process of unity. And that takes community and empathy. We are all in this together and each and every one of us have felt loneliness before. Rumi says “we are all just walking each other home”.

In order to dissolve loneliness and shame we first must recognize it. we will have to go through the pain of how that feels. This is called Shadow work. By sitting in recognizing the feeling you are able to bring it into a healing space. (Example) I would like you to think about a time that you felt lonely…...You recognize that feeling. Now look around the room. Look into each other's eyes. and see that everyone is feeling that same thing. that you cannot be alone in this moment. Where you are surrounded by people who feel lonely. once you recognize that we are all alone you could become one with it. You can brace loneliness as a friend. You could bring loneliness into the light in to dissolve The Shadow. And then you truly feel this your heartbeat will sync up with every living creature that is ever felt alone. You will be alone with everyone. And that is true unity.


So integration is the key. It is the key to dissolving the dark aspects and agreements that we've made with ourselves in order to protect ourselves. I'm not asking you to no longer protect yourself. I am asking you to make friends with that aspect of yourself that is protecting you. And that's why we need community. That's why we need friends. somebody with empathy who could really understand how you are feeling. Cuz we have all been there before. We must embrace our brothers and sisters through their Dark Times. This is why people become spiritual guides. This is why people become shamans. This is why people become life coaches. Because they truly care for Humanity. And they understand that connection is the most valuable and strongest tool that we have.


So if you're feeling lonely or your shaming yourself please reach out to someone. For we are all here to help each other. We thrive As a society when we have connection. And there is nothing stronger than the true deep intimate connection you can have when you open yourself up completely. When you truly show yourself to somebody else you will be embraced in the most intimate way humanly possible.




 
 
 

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©2020 by Beyond Limits, Flow State Book

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